shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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