belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
