Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
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Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
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Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward