Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  I just tipped a bartender in xanax.

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  (805): I just tipped a bartender in xanax. http://tfl.nu/pn9d
  Replies (16) Good night (3271) Bad night (555)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  You did not just nickname me "Nipples".

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  (847): You did not just nickname me "Nipples". http://tfl.nu/cizi
  Replies (22) Good night (3744) Bad night (1455)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience

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  (801): You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience http://tfl.nu/r1dh
  Replies (35) Good night (6492) Bad night (1642)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.

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  (608): Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him. http://tfl.nu/b6v7
  Replies (49) Good night (8934) Bad night (1012)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer

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  (267): Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer http://tfl.nu/2v54
  Replies (26) Good night (4788) Bad night (1135)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.

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  (971): There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is. http://tfl.nu/8jyt
  Replies (4) Good night (1675) Bad night (482)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong

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  (512): Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong http://tfl.nu/wvqv
  Replies (14) Good night (2873) Bad night (598)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.

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  (573): Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos. http://tfl.nu/hx66
  Replies (18) Good night (2576) Bad night (584)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?

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  (972): I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda? http://tfl.nu/bxk9
  Replies (13) Good night (1856) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina

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  (970): Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina http://tfl.nu/uvty
  Replies (5) Good night (403) Bad night (931)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.

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  (508): the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper. http://tfl.nu/4yqm
  Replies (1) Good night (1138) Bad night (368)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.

  (801): View more from Utah

  International sake day = success

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  (801): Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward. (801): International sake day = success http://tfl.nu/corh
  Replies (9) Good night (985) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  ...

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.

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  (215): I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward. (1-215): ... (215): I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure. http://tfl.nu/h70g
  Replies (5) Good night (947) Bad night (378)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.

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  (773): He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing. http://tfl.nu/5ouo
  Replies (12) Good night (280) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!

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  (318): WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW! http://tfl.nu/fuwp
  Replies (1) Good night (245) Bad night (256)

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