Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off

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  (310): its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off http://tfl.nu/w0tm
  Replies (2) Good night (662) Bad night (945)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.

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  (314): In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night. http://tfl.nu/bhg6
  Replies (12) Good night (1924) Bad night (3110)
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  (831): View more from California

  she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.

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  (831): she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it. http://tfl.nu/5c70
  Replies (16) Good night (4730) Bad night (1226)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside

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  (703): still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside http://tfl.nu/23it
  Replies (8) Good night (1053) Bad night (3194)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.

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  (843): Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat. http://tfl.nu/tf28
  Replies (7) Good night (1445) Bad night (3567)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones

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  (985): It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones http://tfl.nu/0il5
  Replies (6) Good night (4931) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.

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  (336): They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays. http://tfl.nu/wrv2
  Replies (13) Good night (7808) Bad night (1223)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.

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  (217): I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart. http://tfl.nu/psm5
  Replies (6) Good night (2162) Bad night (960)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle

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  (919): my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle http://tfl.nu/ki3d
  Replies (3) Good night (949) Bad night (2679)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean

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  (802): Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean http://tfl.nu/dmnd
  Replies (9) Good night (1396) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.

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  (407): I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up. http://tfl.nu/xd0y
  Replies (5) Good night (1808) Bad night (457)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.

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  (+61): He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it. http://tfl.nu/rrnk
  Replies (3) Good night (836) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.

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  (610): Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me. http://tfl.nu/e3p7
  Replies (2) Good night (311) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (+45): View more from Denmark

  Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!

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  (+45): Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad! http://tfl.nu/8427
  Replies (2) Good night (809) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.

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  (323): GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME. http://tfl.nu/z2j6
  Replies (3) Good night (758) Bad night (234)

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