tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes