just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
