So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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