if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
