it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
