The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
