I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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