Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
