Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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