I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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