This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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