I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
