Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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