Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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