omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
