Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
