I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Text me some of your sweat
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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