how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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