i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
