I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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