I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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