i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
