well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
