I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you traded sex for a burrito?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
