Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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