He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
