OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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