And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
