HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He passed out mid-signature
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
