I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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