What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
