and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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