For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
