yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Fuck appropriateness.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
