Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
