I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Bring me that man meat
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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