you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
