so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
