we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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