her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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