He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
