She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
