we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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