Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
