Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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