Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
