Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
being pregnant is like rehab
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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