I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Boobs are out for the taking
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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