Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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