im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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