My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I love having hate sex.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
