I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
