This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
