I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
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She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
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Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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