I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
